1. |
I'm Real
03:24
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Don't go down to the woods tonight
Unless you want to receive a fright
Because you're gonna see a sight
That'll make you turn ghostly white
The forest is my dark domain
And if you come here you'll be subject to pain
Your brain is going to turn insane
In the membrane
And I'll be the one to blame
You see a dark shape in the shadows
Lurking, crawling in the fallow
Wondering what the hell could that be?
Surprise, bitch!
You've come across me
'Cause I'm just as existent as the birds in the sky
And if you fuck with me I swear you're gonna die
So you better leave this place, I'm not gonna lie
I'm real, bitch, and I'm gonna make you cry
I'm gonna make you cry
I'm real, bitch, and I'm gonna make you cry
Sly walking through the underbrush
Don't fuss just because you'll never get to touch my fur
Because to y'all I'm just a blur
Anyway listen to what I've got to say
None of you motherfuckers collecting so-called "evidence"
Of what you claim to be a boreal resident
Will ever reveal the truth, because it's evident
That you're all fucked and you've got a thought impediment
I'm real as can be
But you're never gonna see
The truest up close and personal me
Because I do my best to hide away from you all
And if you think you can expose me then suck my balls
They're big and hairy
Just like I'm big and scary
So if you encroach on my turf you'd better be wary
Or in the ground you'll be buried
I'm real, bitch, don't fuck with me
I'm real, bitch, real as can be
I'm real, bitch, but you can't see
I'm real, bitch, far from fantasy
I'm real, bitch, don't fuck with me
I'm real, bitch, real as can be
I'm real, bitch, but you can't see
I'm real, bitch, far from a fantasy
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2. |
Patterson Diss
01:51
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You wanna come at me, son? (Patterson)
You wanna come dat way, son? (Patterson)
You wanna come have some fun? (Patterson)
You wanna be under the gun? (Patterson)
You won't be able to run (Patterson)
Patterson you are so stun
Patterson you are so dumb
You come to me and you will be running
To science you'll become a shut-in
The towel for you will be thrown in
Now for my head folks are hunting
For your career they'll be gunning
Because my face is so stunning
And I'm just as rare as the One Ring
My hiding skills are so cunning
A failure's what you are becoming
Death for your career as a film auteur
That's what happens to cryptozoology here
You think you can get away?
Go ahead and make my day
I'll kill you if you come 'round here again
Slice with my claws and chop off your fuckin' head
Now it's not just your career, it's your life that's dead
You made your own bed, now lay in it
Meanwhile I'm still slayin' in
For a glimpse of me folks are payin' it
To mark all my lands I'm sprayin' it
Fuck you Roger Patterson!
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3. |
The Chase
01:43
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Fu-fu-fuck the film, I was tryna get away
But I ain't get away, bitch, I did a chase
Chase 'em down, where I punch? Gimlin's face
Roger sprint, crackin' boughs like a vase
Kill a hunter then I go out my way
Do the dash then I go out the way
Ro-ro-rob a hiker's shoes, rob a hiker's lace
I'm tryna see a blurry pic of my face
Squatch gonna be eatin' good berries erryday
Bitch, I'm scratchin' trees, Bigfoot mark the way
Choppin' through the goudie just like fish fillet
I-I-I woke up too moody, who gonna die today?
Claw a filmer in his motherfuckin' face
I-I-I be pissed off, boy, you don't wanna come my way
Wanna come my way? You get lost with the trackin'
Wanna come my way? Boy, you not gonna be happy
I-I-I disappear, I'm a cryptid like the Kraken
Bitch tryna prove, we make him chase, we abstractin'
We was livin', y'all was tryna get the action
Get the action of the public reaction
I'm-I'm MC Bigfoot, and you think that I'm your passion
It's your passion, tryna prove I'm a real taxon
Leave me alone, y'all ma'fuckers ain't got compassion
Tryna film me with your camera contraptions
Fu-fu-fuck the film, I was tryna get away
But I ain't get away, bitch, I did a chase
Chase 'em down, where I punch? Gimlin's face
Roger sprint, crackin' boughs like a vase
Kill a hunter then I go out my way
Do the dash then I go out the way
Ro-ro-rob a hiker's shoes, rob a hiker's lace
I'm tryna see a blurry pic of my face
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4. |
'Bout That Forest Life
02:59
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Ay yo
Surprise motherfucker, here I am again
Still going strong in spite of Mr. Patterson
He thought that he could take me down
But here in the forest I still wear the crown
Pew, pew, pew, try to capture me for your zoo?
HA HA who do you think you're talking to?
Thought I'd be coming soon to a theater near you?
Well fuck you, my voyeurs work strictly on YouTube
I'm kicking it all day and all night
It's my right to supplement my appetite with humankind
Living life large to the maximum
Lumbering through the redwoods and the chrysanthemums
From Alaska to British Columbia
I'm hiding out directly in front of ya
Using sounds to coax me to run to ya?
Well LOL I'm never gonna come to ya
'Cause you know I'm 'bout that forest life
Straight gangster, triggering your fight or flight
I'm not an ape man, you got me on tape, man?
Blurriness engaged, I'm not gonna give you fame, man
'Cause you know I'm 'bout that forest life
Straight gangster, triggering your fight or flight
I'm not an ape man, you got me on tape, man?
Blurriness engaged, I'm not gonna give you fame, man
Rockin' out amongst the trees and the bees
Callin' out to find some female Sasquatch honeys
Mating call screams so loud
That all the ladies hear me from miles around
You know what they say about guys with big feet
It's right there in my name, what else do you need?
So come around to my neck of the woods
And I'll show you my wood and my furry goods
I've got the guns to pull trees from their roots
A strong motherfucker who's in cahoots
With the Mothman and the Loch Ness Monster
I've even got friends who roll in flying saucers
The Cryptid Clan is on the prowl
You know it's us when you hear my growl
Masters of the scientific unknown
But for me the forest is where I call my home
'Cause you know I'm 'bout that forest life
Straight gangster, triggering your fight or flight
I'm not an ape man, you got me on tape, man?
Blurriness engaged, I'm not gonna give you fame, man
'Cause you know I'm 'bout that forest life
Straight gangster, triggering your fight or flight
I'm not an ape man, you got me on tape, man?
Blurriness engaged, I'm not gonna give you fame, man
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5. |
Dyatlov Pass
02:48
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The date was February 1959
In the Soviet Union I'd resigned
To stay for my winter vacation
In the Ural Mountains where I'd enter hibernation
It's an annual occurrence for me
To leave North America for Russian trees
Sleep away the snow in the USSR
The land of Lenin, Stalin and the Czars
But something was different this time
I noticed that I wasn't alone in the rime
I heard voices in the pines
And saw footsteps had been left behind
I went to investigate
And lay my eyes upon members of the Russian state
Hikers, skiers and campers in their tents
Here in my domain is where they shouldn't have went
Death comes for those who trespass
Upon my winter home in Dyatlov Pass
Death comes for those who trespass
Upon my winter home in Dyatlov Pass
Quietly I approached the camp
And I waited until they had dowsed their lamps
Now is my time to strike
With my prey asleep in the middle of the night
One hiker awoke to take a piss
So I struck quietly and I killed that bitch
But his screams awoke the rest of the last
They'd soon find the body so I had to act fast
Upon the slopes of Kholat Syakhl
I sprinted forth, closing in for the kill
They ripped open their tents and tried to escape
But I caught up to them as a formless shape
The first five I left to die in the snow
But to the other four I delivered fatal blows
Tossed their corpses into the nearest ravine
That'll teach the Soviets to fuck with me
Death comes for those who trespass
Upon my winter home in Dyatlov Pass
Death comes for those who trespass
Upon my winter home in Dyatlov Pass
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